1st day, job #2

Today went well, and the idea of responsibilities is surprisingly not frightening. At the moment I feel relieved to have a push in the right direction. I find myself fullfilling unsaid goals, meeting unwritten requirements. It's less alarming now, and I feel like just maybe the glimmer of hope I feel, will turn into a full fledge light of change and my life will be a little more on track.

I'm not saying I'm some horrible person or that my life is going in the "wrong direction". I just feel like in my own heart, that I'm going down a path of something I don't need. Laziness, unfullfillment, those are things I control. ME, not someone else.. not the media or the internet or anything. Those are things I allow in my life. If they make me lazy it's because I'm choosing to be that way.

I feel terrible when at the end of the day my thought is "well another day that I didn't do anything I love to do nor get anything done." That, I hope I don't have to tell myself again. One day at a time. One glimmer of hope at a time. A chance to change.

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