I've found that as I've gotten older, Sunday has become increasingly lonely. I still haven't figured out entirely why, but I can say I dread Sunday every week.
As a junior higher Sunday was my social day. It was the day that I spent with the youth group, at church, at lunch. The rest of the day was a relaxing day before the week started over again.
In highschool the pattern repeated, Sunday was the day I saw all of my friends. But when I moved Junior year, Sunday no longer possessed it's potential anymore. Going to other churches was really out of the question for me. I was 16, and pissed off.
When I moved back to Fresno, at 18, I continued going to church but Sunday's were not as they use to be. I often came home alone, and spent the afternoon alone while most of my friends went home to their families. Father and Mother's day were the worst. I always had to work the Monday after, so those days were full of me wishing I could skip forward a day or fly to where my parents were. The emotional annoyance of being 18 and not celebrating Mother and Father's day was something I never really expected.
When I started to pull out of church activities, Sunday's became very depressing. I felt judged, looked at, ignored, and forgotten all at once. Sunday became the day that made me sick, physically.
I've tried to take back Sunday's but even when I wake up I feel sad. The entire day I yearn for human contact, but often times it doesn't help. It's the day of shopping by yourself, no phone calls, no "facebook" comments or "myspace" messages. The day of canceled plans, goodbyes, fights, and the day before the week starts all over again. But sometimes, all I'm waiting for is the week to begin.
I feel loneliest on Sundays.
As a junior higher Sunday was my social day. It was the day that I spent with the youth group, at church, at lunch. The rest of the day was a relaxing day before the week started over again.
In highschool the pattern repeated, Sunday was the day I saw all of my friends. But when I moved Junior year, Sunday no longer possessed it's potential anymore. Going to other churches was really out of the question for me. I was 16, and pissed off.
When I moved back to Fresno, at 18, I continued going to church but Sunday's were not as they use to be. I often came home alone, and spent the afternoon alone while most of my friends went home to their families. Father and Mother's day were the worst. I always had to work the Monday after, so those days were full of me wishing I could skip forward a day or fly to where my parents were. The emotional annoyance of being 18 and not celebrating Mother and Father's day was something I never really expected.
When I started to pull out of church activities, Sunday's became very depressing. I felt judged, looked at, ignored, and forgotten all at once. Sunday became the day that made me sick, physically.
I've tried to take back Sunday's but even when I wake up I feel sad. The entire day I yearn for human contact, but often times it doesn't help. It's the day of shopping by yourself, no phone calls, no "facebook" comments or "myspace" messages. The day of canceled plans, goodbyes, fights, and the day before the week starts all over again. But sometimes, all I'm waiting for is the week to begin.
I feel loneliest on Sundays.
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